I hope you’ve been enjoying my storytelling adventures during our last few visits together. Just to jog your memory, let’s recap. In Part 1, I shared about the whole concept of my “Acting As If” everything was just dandy in my life, when in reality, it wasn’t at all. In Part 2, I chatted about how “Timing Is Everything” and that no matter what clear signs of goodness came my way, I just wasn’t ready to fully receive any of it. Then as we moved onto Part 3, I shared how it was only through my humbly “Surrendering To Something Greater Than Myself” that I was finally able to find serenity and peace in my life. And once that door opened, it gave me the freedom I needed to re-create a life I truly loved.
Click below to catch up on Part 1, Part 2 or Part 3:
So now that you’re up to speed, let’s move on to the final steak and potatoes of this story. You know, if I honestly think back to every part of my journey – the ups, the downs and the all arounds – I can best explain this miracle, of my becoming who I have become today, this way…
And it was from my showing up each day, no matter what mindset I was in, that the miracles started to flow into my life. Now, since during the time I couldn’t logically explain any of the ongoing miracles occurring, I would look at every miracle moment I encountered as a sign of what could happen when I followed the rules, took it one day at a time and let something greater than myself steer the ship.
“It all happened one day at a time by me showing up every single day. Some days I was on the top of my game. Other days I felt completely lost and defeated. But each and every day, I showed up. I stayed the course. I practiced humility. And I found an absolute calm in letting go of what I couldn’t control – people, places and things – and letting my Higher Power deal with that stuff.”
And the more I let go, the more courage I had to continue to show up for my life fully and stop playing small. And as I was willing to show up in alignment to HP’s (Higher Power) plan; not mine, life continued to surprise me. And HP’s plan, not mine, has continued to unravel in so many magnificent ways than I ever could have imagined them to. That’s for sure! And so, I’ve been going with the flow ever since, with intrigue and curiosity, to see how this life of mine will all play out and continue to unfold.
As you can imagine, the life I was leading for over thirty years is now nowhere in comparison to the life I am leading today. I am forty-eight years old and I have so much experience, strength and hope around how my mind processes information. I’m actually in the process of completing my very first book, which focuses on how the mind works and how there are two specific voices that are hanging out in our minds every single day.
The book has allowed me to gather all my thoughts, tools, techniques and experiences in one place. I’ve been able to piece together a life’s worth of puzzle pieces and I am excited to share the book with others in the future. My hope is to give those in need chewable tools and techniques to help them get out of their own way every single day so they have the power to shift their mindset and get out of their own rut!
You know, even after being hit with more tragedy and deep loss over the past few years, I have still been able to stay grounded and stay in self-love and self-care. It’s like my mind and body went on autopilot to support me when I needed it the most. And all the prior years I had been willing to put in to deconstructing and reconstructing my mindset and way of being had paid off.
I feel so blessed to have gone through so many years of trial and error on my own. It lead to me finally hitting rock bottom and letting go of my ego and finding a healthy way to cope with every part of my life. Now, I can clearly recognize when I am in self-care and in self-sabotage on a moment to moment basis. And I am patient with every single thought I have, as well as with the process it sometimes takes me to get out of my own way. So, no matter what, I have the tools and techniques I need to shift my mindset, in real time, and get out of my own way, rather than stay stuck in fear, doubt and resentment. And I no longer wonder why the heck I’m even feeling stuck; I have too much awareness!
Bottom line? I now know what it feels like to survive and then to thrive. I know what it feels like to live in fear and to then live in love. I have experienced self-hate and self-sabotage and I have since learned how to practice self-love through self-care. I’ve experienced it all. And the gift I have received from all my struggles is awareness around it all! The knowing that I have a choice in which direction my mind can go. I may not have control of the first thought that enters my mind. But I sure as hell have control of the next thought I allow in. And that next thought will be one where I choose to thrive. It will be focused around living in love. It will stay in alignment with self-love and self-care.
What else? Well, I’m quite familiar with that feeling of going down the rabbit hole of self-sabotage and being clueless around what’s going on while it’s happening. Uh, that’s not a good feeling, by the way. But, I also know what it’s like to be able to take full control of every thought I think, every word I speak and every action I take. And that brings me calm and keeps me in balance. Why? Because I have the power to shut down the ego and let in something greater than myself direct the show. I can get out of my own way, EVERY SINGLE ACT!
It’s a funny thing; life! If it wasn’t for me hitting that last rock bottom in 2011, I would have been on the same rollercoaster ride of confusion, doubt, self-pity and self-hatred for the rest of my life; quite possibly. I would never have gotten the impact or gained the insight I needed to change the course of my life.
To know that I could get off that rollercoaster, to know that there was another option and to know that I did have a choice in the matter; that made all the difference. But for all of that to happen, I had to be forced to STOP so I could be shown ANOTHER WAY! I needed that breakdown to have a breakthrough. It gave me the awareness I needed to make a change. It gave me a new community of like-minded individuals who understood me and what I was going through. It gave me a true sense of belonging; to know that someone who had been on that rollercoaster ride – that I’d been on for so long – was able to get off of it! It gave me so much inspiration to hear their journey and then see how they were able to start over again and to re-create a new life for themselves that they loved. And I thought to myself, “If they did it, so could I!”
So, here’s to second chances! What a true gift I have been given. It took my willingness to drop the ego and let something greater than myself in, and it took my will to accept that I didn’t know it all. Oy vey! I laugh at how stubborn and thick headed I was. Now? Well, now I’m just driven, deep in faith and deep in love. That’s the truth. And it’s a much better place to be; I will say that.
Now I won’t lie, the journey wasn’t easy. I had to be willing to put in all the work, not matter how long it took. And I had to humble myself so I could start living my life from exactly where I was. I had to accept myself fully and live within my current means, without any judgement. No matter what, I had to move forward from exactly where I was.
And in making that decision, it gave me clarity around how much I was responsible for. I was responsible for every word I spoke, every thought I held onto and every action I took. Oh! And I also want to mention that when I slowly started to shift my mindset, one day at a time, I cleaned up my money issues; debt free, thank you! I also cleaned up any passed toxic friendships and romantic relationships. I took responsibility every step of the way and let go of what no longer served me. I became a true adult. I know it sounds funny, but it’s 100% true.
And in becoming an adult, one of the biggest things for me was accepting that I had to follow the rules that were given, rather than think I knew it all. And in doing that, I uncovered the person I was supposed to be; inside and out. And every single day since then, with the help of others and my willingness to continue doing the work, the person that I was then, is nowhere left to be found. And thank goodness for that! I am so grateful that I get to show up for you here today as the fully abundant woman I have become. And the last thing I will say is that all of this came about because I was finally willing to surrender and ask for help. Shit! Who would’ve thought that those two things were the main key to opening the door to the many gifts I would receive.
Well, there you have it! As I said in Part 2, “Timing is everything”. So, if you’re reading this now and you’re feeling the need to reach out to me, then listen to your gut. I know that trusting someone is one of the hardest things to do. And the reason I have taken time to share my story here with you over these past weeks is because I want you to know, you can trust me. If you are feeling stuck or in a rut, I am here to help. I have your best interest at hand. I have nothing to hide from you. And to go one step further, in order to impact another person, one must be willing to fully show themselves first. And I hope I have successfully been able to do this through sharing my own story with you here.
I’m with you. Whether you’ve just met me or have known me for years, I’m here to help. My inbox is always open so please reach out if you have any questions or want to say ‘Hi!’. And if you’re feeling stuck in an area in your life, let’s set up a Free Consultation to chat further and see how I might help support you.
